Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
