I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
He uses pillows to masturbate.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
