i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
