So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
