I accidentally had phone sex last night
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize