I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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