I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
