Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
