hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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