OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Randomize
