woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
