Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
