I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
