can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
