So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
