I'm really into asian looking animals
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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