I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
