Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
