A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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