So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
