Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
