I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
