so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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