I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
As shirtless as possible
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
