My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
