i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
