I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
