Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
