i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
