I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
