We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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