You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
