There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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