at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
