Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
