I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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