1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
