I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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