omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
