also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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