Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
