.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize