That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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