That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
