there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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