Sry I called you an 8
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
