all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
