Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I bet he comes in French.
too bad you live with your parents still
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
