had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
