Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
