I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
