But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
