I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
