New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize