oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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