Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
where am i from again
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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