Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
