tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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