Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
